To make a successful life change you need to feel empowered, Baby. I mean a deep inner knowing that this challenge is going to totally rock your world in the best possible way! How do you feel when you think about stopping drinking? Like you’re ready to rock & roll or scared you’ll be missing out? It’s a critical point dear, sweet one. It does NOT matter how you feel at this exact moment, what’s important is that you notice it, because that’s where the shift starts. The shift to the sweet spot. Empowerment is a vital characteristic for any big life change. Excitement vs. dread.
What I have found is there is no right way to quit drinking. The best way is simply what works for you! I have tried two different methods to stop – once I spontaneously declared I was going to stop for a year (not a great plan) and another time I methodically planned it out. I was successful both times but one method was pretty awesome and the other kinda sucked. The difference between them was how I felt about it. Does the idea of getting alcohol out of your life make you feel like you’re going to totally kick ass at everything you do? Or do you get a knot of dread in your gut? If you’re feeling strong your chance of success goes way up. If you are coming at it from place of lack your long term success is going to be pretty lame. Lack = Lame. Ha, I like that!
After I suddenly declared I would stop drinking for a year I spent the next twelve months waiting…counting the months to be able to drink again. I had a deprived state of mind. I was proud of myself for doing the ‘hard’ thing while at the same time wanting it to be over. Not drinking seemed like a difficult thing to be doing and I felt like I was missing out because I had not changed my deep beliefs around alcohol. The core beliefs that had been there my whole life remained intact which meant I fought them every day.
Fast forward a few years when I decided I was going to stop drinking forever. I realized that to be successful I needed to tackle that achievement the same way I had done everything else – with a solid plan and a lot of research. What I didn’t know at the time was that the research I did would totally change my mindset, which ultimately was the key to my success. It is the cornerstone of my sobriety and the piece that was missing the first time I stopped. I have been able to stop drinking fairly easily and have never felt deprived, only empowered. Yep, it totally rocks!
Our culture brainwashes us from a very early age that drinking is fun, relaxing, stress relieving, and something all the cool kids do. Sadly, the opposite is true but we don’t believe it. Once I started to really understand this unconscious imprint my deep core beliefs about drinking changed. I have wanted to change my relationship with alcohol for a decade and I carried a heavy weight about that. It felt burdensome because I did not want to stop drinking, not at all. I loved it. But gradually I loved it less and less and it made me feel worse and worse, so the burden became heavier.
I laid the groundwork for my success while I was still drinking! It might seem a little crazy but I spent months sitting on my couch reading addiction research while sipping my wine. I journaled a ton about stopping drinking…while sipping my wine. I outlined my plan…while sipping wine. And then I quit. As I said above, there is no RIGHT way to stop but I want you to know that if you are sipping your wine while you are reading this it does not negate the impact the words will have on you -because once you know something you cannot unlearn it and every little bit is a drop in the bucket that helps you get ready to shift. Do not EVER beat yourself up because addiction is not your fault. You are a beautiful, wonderful Being and the fact that you are here with me, reading this piece (thank you SO much, I really appreciate that by the way) means your Higher Self is getting ready to roll, even if you have a knot in your gut about it. Hang on Baby, it’s going to get awesome!
In my coming blogs I will be giving you steps you can take and tools you can use. I will share my challenges and triumphs. For now I want you to really think about how it would be for you to be utterly empowered to stop drinking? How is it going to feel to ditch the fear? Because you can.
Sharing my work and talking about it with your friends is greatly appreciated. We will change the conversation around women and alcohol, together.
If you’re ready to grab a FREE copy of my best tips to start to explore your relationship with alcohol click on the link at the top of this page! These simple ideas started me on the road to happily living alcohol free, even when I never would’ve believed it could happen. xox Donna
Pin this for later!