I had solid reasons for choosing to quit drinking, namely clarity and happiness. I especially wanted no brain fog and to be intentional about charting the direction of my life as opposed to living in a wine induced autopilot. AND I hoped to increase my ‘happiness’. So naïve.
So, here I am living a booze free life which has indeed, provided me with the clarity I was searching for. I now remain fully present in my own life. Enjoyable? Not always. Do I want to escape my reality sometimes? Usually the answer is no, but the current global crisis resulting in complete loss of family income has frequently made me wish for a wine – a bottle with a straw.
However, I can see the picture of how it would be if I was drinking during this situation…I would wake up feeling worse than I already do. Wine induced exhaustion coupled with anxiety & fear is a snarky combo. My ability to contribute to decision making in our household would be compromised because I tend to turtle when I’m foggy so I’m pretty sure that would happen. I would be spending a lot of money that I, quite literally, don’t have and I would be showing my child that during a time of stress you drink…that’s how you cope.
Staying present in your own life is hard and scary. This frequently leads me to ask myself what’s the alternative? To lose awareness of my own emotions because I’m too tired to process them. No, I choose a different path.
I will take all the feels dished right up in front of me. I’ll do my best to show up fully in the pain and the glory because that is life, sometimes it hurts. I will not drink during the pandemic and time of unemployment even though some days I really, really want to. I have a deep, inner commitment to sobriety that, frankly, I am thrilled about even on dark days.
Here are a few suggestions to immediately help you stay present in your own life, with or without booze:
- Acknowledge what you’re feeling when you feel it without reacting. Simply name it in your head and notice it. It’s that easy. (haha, just kidding – not at all easy)
- Notice your breath going in and out of your body for a few moments each day. It’s that easy.
- Name something you are thankful for and own that gratitude down to your toes. It’s that easy.
- Live IN your body. If you’re not sure what I mean by this, I will write more about it. It’s easy.
Here are ideas for a longer game to deepen your awareness:
- Begin to question what you believe to be true.
- Learn about how you work, what is truly important to you.
- Start to develop a tool box to help you respond to life’s challenges in a different way. There are excellent resources online, read stuff, listen to podcasts etc.
- Be prepared to do the work, it’s the most important thing you will ever do, my friend.
I want to deeply thank you for being here with me. I treasure every word I hear from my readers. Whatever you are going through right now, as you read this, know that it’s OK. Whether you’re drinking your way through this crisis or, like me, having an emotional meltdown every second day know that what you’re feeling is OK Baby. If you’re struggling please reach out to someone. We are all in the same boat, together. With or without the wine – it’s going to be OK.